When they got pregnant the first time, it was my mother who took it upon herself to send some baby things to them before the child arrived. She sent a huge box about every month or so. In the end she had sent so much stuff that she has completly outfitted the baby in clothes from birth to about 2 years old. I kid you not. That baby would have wanted for nothing. My mother bought onesies, clothes, towels, socks, shoes, blankets....literally and mean literally EVERYTHING that child could want or need for 2 solid years. My brother and sister in law would have to buy NOTHING for that baby...my niece. With a black grandmother you know that was the best dressed child. No expense was spared for her.
I think the black must have rubbed off from my brother. Next thing you know about a month before the baby comes, they begin to act cool toward my mother and me too. We do not know why. We let it go..or at least my mother does. My brother if her favorite...(and do not let me get into that yet) so whatever he says or does is golden. I have had the better education...I completed college, have a professional job...yadayadayada...but I am the black sheep for some reason in her eyes. My brother dropped out of college and works in retail but somehow that is still a better standing in her eyes. He is golden.
So...my mother mentions to me that she thinks sister in law is acting funny and is short on the phone. They have the baby. We do not get to see the baby right away because her family from Vermont has to come first. They live about 2 states away from me. So we are told we have to wait. The Vermontians came first. We finally do get to see the baby live about 2 months after she arrives. In the interim we see lots of pictures that are sent and posted on a family photo album on AOL.
Funny how those pictures look. The baby has on tyedied onesies. WHAT THE HELL???!! TYE DYE. WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM???? And all the colors are hard colors for a baby...nothing in any pink at all. My mother had bought all pink and she sure as hell would not buy anything tye dyed. We waited and looked at the next batch of pictures. The baby is dressed in bright red dresses and other really hard primary colors for a newborn and of course there are more different tye dyed onesies. And no soft pink blankets that my mother bought. She is wrapped in the plaid blankets you get in the hospital.
My mother finally got the nerve to make mention of it in a phone call. How come there were no pictures of the baby in anything my mom sent????? My brother says he leaves all decisions about that up to my sister in law. So my mom asked her. My sis-in-law said that she has worn some things but she did not know what outfits came from who??? STRANGE as all the outfits would have been from my mother. She would not have needed anything.
Time passes and the baby clothes remains foremost in my mom's thoughts as not one thing she purchased has she ever seen the baby in . They come to our state for a visit and I ask, when we are all sitting around the living room, about the clothes my mom sent. Do you know what that heifer said happened to all the things my mother gave her. She said she recycled them.
RECYCLED THEM! I asked her what the hell that meant. She said she gave them away to all her coworkers who had babies. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Recycling brand new baby clothes that you need??? A fight broke out. Verbal. Next thing my brother is up in my mother's face saying, "You think you the only one who can by clothes for the baby?!" Yes the black has worn off of him somehow, someway. He also said, "you did not buy us what we needed as we had to buy onesies." That did it! Next thing my mother is yelling telling my brother that they did not have to buy onesies as she had bought them in every size...many of them in every size..so that she would be completely outfitted in onesies until she was 2 years old.
She then told him some of the other things she sent and asked if he had seen any of them. He said no he had left all that to my sister in law. So he had no idea what was sent and she just got rid of them. She was so stupid she got rid of the stuff they needed. My brother got silent at that point and heifer did not say a word. She just said again that she recycled them to some of her coworkers who were also having babies.
My mother was crushed. I bet she spent about $1000 on that baby all told. She was thinking if they had all the little stuff they could get the big stuff like car seats and cribs. But no...whose crib and car seat did they beg for to take back with them that visit. My daughters. I was disgusted with them both. Totally disgusted. My mother was and IS still crushed by that.
She talks about that at least once a week to me. Needless to say we do not sent any sort of clothes for the baby anymore. All occassions are marked with the giving of TARGET gift cards ...about $25 so that they can get what they want. My mother spends time each week talking about all the things she will not be getting for the new baby. She has learned her lesson. So have I.
With all that there is some satisfaction in there for me. What goes around really does come back around. The favorite golden child who got everything is now treating my mother badly. Me who was not the favorite can look on that and say to myself...see, he really was not golden and really never has been. Now she can really see the truth that I have always seen. Sometimes when you get to actually see "what goes around comes around", it helps. It helps me with the pain I have felt all these years knowing that he was the favorite and me being treated like the outcast.
I can honestly say lessons can be learned at any age. My mother is learning some with my sister in law. Heifers can be really MEAN!