Lord, please deliver me from the greediness of my coworkers.
This happened about 2 weeks ago.
There is a landscaping crew that does all the buildings in the office complex. Every few weeks they tear up all the perfectly good plants and in goes a new theme. I do not know what happens to the old plants but I bet they are thrown away. Seems like a waste because they redo the landscaping so often.
Well. There were 3 large saga palms that had been there for about 2 years and when I was coming in from lunch I noticed that they were digging them up. I went over and asked about them. What would happen to them. They were beautiful plants. The landscaper told me they would be thrown away. Well, I promptly asked if I could have one. He said, " yes!"
The palm was a huge thing about three feet across and if you know anything about saga palms they are like weapons. The fronds are needle sharp with huge thorms sticking out from the base the leaves are coming out of. Put that under a window and burglars will thing twice and if they are not familiar, they will thing twice the next time they see a saga palm. They are deadly.
I told the landscaper that I would to get my keys. He said I needed to wait until they had left and they would leave the 3 palms here sitting. He said he did not want the workers to see him giving me one of the palms. He asked if anyone else would want the other 2. I told him I was sure someone would and I would go back to the office and see. All was set. He left the palms, I went back upstairs and told a coworker , "G", who had just bought a house and was talking about doing some landscaping. I figured she would like one. Blackberry...you remember her from this post ...was sitting with her in the break room.
Well, my plan was to somehow get that palm in the back seat and get it home. I had no idea how Blackberry and "G" were going to get their palms home. I waited the time frame for the landscapers to go and I went back downstairs to load up my palm. There was no palm. The palm was gone. All the palms were gone.
I was livid. Absolutely livid!!!! There was going to be hell to pay. I just knew that they had taken all the palms and as it turned out they had. I looked for Blackberry and "G." Both had left the office for various reasons. One had a doctors appointment and one had an early out. But you know what. I was gonna work it with Bell South. I asked around the office..very calmly if anyone has seen who the palms were taken home. I went straight to Blackberry's crew and found out she got another employee with a pick up truck to load them up and take them to their houses. Blackberry and "G" live about 15 minutes away in the same direction on the interstate.
Hot damn! Those bitches were not getting away with that. I had Blackberry's home number as she was my mentor for a short while when I first was employed. I dug that number out and called. I got an aswering machine. I left a stark, raving message that was over the top but I had to be sure she got the message. I told her that she was an evil, greedy person and that she would have no knowledge of those palms until I told her about them and that for her to take them all was selfish. She knew I wanted one. I told her that she had better make arrangements to get my palm back to this office ASAP because if she did not I was going to google up her address and get it myself. In addition, I told her that I did not have a number for "G", but for her to call "G" and give her my message VERBATIM! I was coming to get my G.D. palm one way or the other. I told her I was going to hunt them down because they were not going to get away with this with me.
I waited. I got a call from Blackberry about 8pm that night. She was apologetic and said that she did not know that the coworker with the truck had taken all 3. I told her she was a liar. I told her she was trying to take that palm just like she takes all the food from the office functions. I told her the difference was is that I was not the office. I will not let what she is trying to do happen to my things.
She tried to say it was a misunderstanding. I said "WHATEVER!" I told her you had better just tell where where I can pick up my palm or when you are bringing it back to the office. She said that I could get it from "G's" house. I got her number and called "G". They had obviously talked and both were sorry and it was a misunderstanding. "WHAAAATEVER!"
I got her address and went over to her house the next day at 8pm and got my palm. I came prepared just in case I had to load it myself. I had thick gloves and a 2 heavy shirts on. She did not even help me load it up ...I did not think she would... but you would think she would. She would not have know about the palm except for me. But, I got it home. Happy as can be, it now has a very large terra cotta home and looks great on my patio.
Don't MAKE me have to kill you over a saga palm.
