Harrington and Grad School « The O'EO Cookie

THE O'EO COOKIE

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Harrington and Grad School

The spring after the horrible Christmas episode, Harrington decided to get his masters in business administration. He signed up for the weekend graduate school designed specifically for working professionals. Intense school on the weekends and it lasted for about 2.5 years.

After the holidays Harrington said he wanted to take a little break. I asked what that meant as it seemed we really did not have a strong relationship anyway. He said that he wanted the opportunity to maybe go out with others....just on some dates...nothing serious and no sleeping with anyone. He wanted time to figure out where our relationship was going. Sounded like a good move. Doesn't absence make the heart grow fonder? We set some rules for both of us. We could go out on fairly platonic dates if we wanted but there was to be no sleeping with anyone else. If we really liked the date and felt that that person was someone we wanted to sleep with, we were to let the other know that we wanted out of the relationship for good. Harrington was in school all weekends so our time was limited to weeknights. He would come over to my house or I would go over to his house 2 times a week. We would still go out if we could and on Sunday nights we would go out to jazz clubs.

I was miserable but what could I do. I have never been one to run after a man. Maybe that is my problem. I do not know. Seems I can only have one for a short while. Noone ever stays for long. I did not initiate this arrangement, this break, this whatever the hell it was. I was interested in what he was doing in school. I even wanted to go up and tour the campus with him one weekend. I asekd to do that but the answer was no. So...noone he was associating with in grad school and that new circle of friends knew about me. I felt he was slipping away but there was nothing I could do.

I realize that most men are lying bastards but never has it been proven to me with so much bravado in all my years of dating. That lesson comes back to me over and over again. As if I had not learned it enough already.

He had a few papers to write and Harrington was not computer literate. At that time computers were not as common place as they are now. He had a computer and I offered on more than one occassion to type for him. I was the manager of a rehabilitation facility at that time and had access to my own computers at work and home. Harrington declined my offer. He said that he would get his office help to type. Other times he said a friend who was a typist would do it for him. Okay! All those things were valid and someone was typing for him. I was not sure who it was exactly. Well on another occassion he mentioned that he had a paper to type. I offered again and was rejected. This time he said I would not know how.

Now the muddy waters were clearing. He thought that my youth meant I did not know anything... I was dumb. With that statement, other past statements that were said to me hit home. He really did not think that I was as smart as him , if not smarter. God damn him! I was smarter. I had 4 years of college just like he did. I had a professional job, I was a social worker and therapist in the medical field. God knows I had a good education. In addition to keep current, I had to take continuing education and I was signed up for graduate school at Duke University. This was a sista' with skills and an education. I think that in all his years of dating since his divorce, he had dated a lot of younger women and maybe they all did not have the skills I had. Maybe he felt that anyone younger than him was not on his level. Little did he know that he was not on mine.

As it turmed out when he had that last paper completed, I asked to see it. Standard typing. Nothing fancy. I asked who typed it and if it was someone he was dating. He said it was. I let him have it. I could have certainly typed his fucking paper with no problem. We had a big fight about that. I asked how old the woman was that he was seeing and it was someone close to his own age. We were still on some sort of break/but still dating period.

I remember when I was a teen, I used to read Harlequin Romances. I read hundreds of them. That was how I learned how love and relatonship are supposed to be. No matter what, you may go thru some sort of adversity in the relationship, but in the end a knight in shining armor is supposed to come in on a white horse, sweep you off your feet, plant a big kiss on your lips and the two of you go riding off into the sunset together. I realize that every man I have ever dated, I have expected to sweep me off my feet and ride off into the sunset with me. Where is my knight? He is lost out there looking for me. I am here! Right here! Please come find me!

Well, I was looking for Harrington to be my knight. This was the adversity part and all was to work out in the end. I kept secretly hoping and waiting. While this break was going on , I did not date anyone else. Just him. I just knew that it would all work out in the end. I already had 2 years invested...now going into three. I wanted to ride off into the sunset with him. It would be a pretty nice sunset as he had a little money and we did have fun together. Our main differences came to doing things outdoors. I was more into that and he was not. We had many other things in common. The love of fine art and reading, jazz and going out!! He was not a stay at home fuddie duddie.

I was unable to place a name with this other woman he was seeing suposely not seriously so we continued on like we were. I was still in waiting mode. Don't good things come to those whow wait? Maybe this does not apply to men. Spring break was coming and I wanted us to spend that week together doing something. He was agreeble to that and I thought maybe we had just turned a corner. I invited Harrington to go home with me to meet my parents.

He did go with me. I had not told my mother about our age difference. I do not tell my mother about any relationships I have because when I did in younger years...not knowing...she would get all up in my bizness and cause trouble and turmoil. She did enough to run any men off I was interested. So we arrived at the door and she just happened to open it. She was in appropriate as usual. Before she could even say hello she had her hand over her mouth and was bending into her "I swany" moves. You know "I swany." It is that move that all elderly black women know about. "I swany" is from the 60's and earlier. I just looked at her. She finally straightened up and let us in. We got in. I told her we coudl share the same room. BIG FAT NO to that one. If you are not married you cannot sleep in the same room in her house. That really was not a big deal. We had a good weekend seeing all the sites aroung town, going to the beach and eating out. We headed back home on Tuedsay with no other plans for the rest of the week.

O'EO @ 05:17 pm |

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Yeah it's me. The O'EO Cookie! Angry at the ignorance that still enshrouds some people. This is all about me, just for me to rant and rave about all things past and present. Female geek hanging out in the blogosphere.